Hitler Relived . . . . !

He is the ultimate tyrant. He nagged and nagged on the issue of Usana. I apologized. He continued. I told him he had made a promise to stop nagging on that night after our jog. He then made me rephrase and rephrase the sentence until he is satisfied. Finally he is satisfied. Then he lecture about why I can't do what he want. He then forced me to make a promise to him if I break my promise, what I will do. I tried to joke about it, thinking that it may diffuse the bad atmosphere a bit. No, it did not work. He had an ideal answer in mind, and he kept dropping hints (no comments if they are obvious hints or vague hints) and chided me when my answers did not fit his ideal answer. Finally I strike. He made me promise to give him money whenever I break my promise. It may be just a chat, or it may be what he would hold against me in the future. But to end things, I had to agree.

He even dared to point out to me that he stopped nagging once I mentioned about the promise he gave me. What's the point of stopping to nag at an issue only to start nagging on another issue? He called that delivering a promise? NUTS!!!!

Then he said he will also keep his promise. He raised the issue of his promise himself. So I take it as a hint that I could also ask him for his punishment if he did not fulfill his promise. He gave me an answer that I had given him. So I used the exact words he used on me. HE BLEW UP!!!!!!

Bloddy hell!!! What's wrong with him. If he doesn't like the answer, then please understand why I was as unhappy just now when he gave me the answer. Only he can say those hurting words. What a spoilt brat!

Yeah, he jolly well knows his own character. He said since young, only he can play pranks on others, but he won't take it standing if others play prank on him. So only he can complain and bully me and force me to answer things I don't want to answer, force me to do things I dont' want to do, and be at his mercy if he wants to (or not) hold my unwilling answers against me. But he will not give pleasant-to-hear answers to me even though he knows I will not hold it against him. He won't run the risk with me, but expects me to run the risk with him.

Now he is forcing me to go to sleep. He himself had promised to go to sleep early. When he can't, he blamed me for not forcing him to do it. But when I told him to go to sleep, he snapped at me.
Just like today, he blamed me for us not taking Usana. Fact was, I was not in the circumstances to take Usana. I need enough food to take Usana, if not, I'll be sufferring from over secretion of acid juice. AND HE HIMSELF FORGOT TO TAKE USANA. If there's a problem, it's OUR problem, not MINE!!!!!!!

He insisted that we should not make love after 1am. But he had suggested to make love after 1am not only once, but frequently. If I did not play along, he says I'm not responsive enough. If I do, he says he had warned me not to do it after 1am. He says he had told me to try it in the afternoon, or earlier than 1am. Fact was, I need to work in the afternoon. I have no mood to hanky panky around. And he damn bloody well knows that I need to work. Anyway, today, he went to sleep once he reached home. We slept until 8 plus. We woke up, made dinner, watch tv (some Hong Kong serial that he does not want to miss, and willingly watch it so that we had some private time for sex after 1am as we will not need to catch the rerun), went out on his request, came back for another show that he does not want to miss, then he delayed everything by refusing to go to bathe, and when everything is done, it is nearly 2am.

Left or right, I'm wrong!!! HE NEVER WILL BE WRONG!!!! And when he criticise, I am to apologize and keep quiet.

I tell you, he will never improve. He will never be a better man. Cos he does not listen to critisms but only nags and complains and criticize about all the other people.

HITLER RELIVED . . . ! I"M LIVING IN HELL!!!!!!

I should never have agreed to be a guarantor . . .

It's a big mistake, which I know will happen! But I still agreed to be his guarantor when he wanted to buy a car. I was warned by the fortune teller not to be a guarantor for anyone this year. But I didn't think I had a choice. If I do not be a guarantor, he will be angry. I will not be a good wife in his eyes, cos I am not supportive of him, cos I am not able to help him when he needs help, cos I am not an understanding wife when he wants to buy a car.

So I agreed to his request, to be his guarantor when he bought the car. I paid half for the car. But it has given me endless trouble. He will not stop nagging whenever I was at the wheel. Either the right or the wrong way, he just have endless comments to make. Step on the accelerator a bit too hard, he'll scold. Didn't look at the side that he thought I didn't, he'll scold. Didn't slow down the car fast enough, he'll scold. Not in the centre of the lane, he'll scold. Didn't reverse the car properly in a single attempt, he'll scold. Follow behind a vehicle that is not travelling as fast, he'll scold. But really, I'm not a seasoned driver and he stresses me up every single time, and he throws me with so much info and demands while I was driving, I doubt I'll improve under him. And he doesn't intend to hold back his comments because he is in full belief that I deserve all his scoldings and naggings because I'm not good enough. He thinks that he is such a good driver that he has the right to scold me whenever he sees something that he can comment on. If he has the intention to teach and help me improve, he is NOT HELPING AT ALL!!!!!! Choosing a wrong way to coach, is as good as, or even worse then, not coaching.

Whatever happened this afternoon is another case of him not being helpful at all. I was about to make a right turn out of the carpark. There were a stream of vehicles and I had waited for quite some time. So when the right side cleared up, and I reckon that the vehicles coming from that way is still quite far away, I concentrated a bit more on the left, for the last vehicle to bypass me. He told me to 'Go'. I figured it was a good time too, and so I turned. I had forgotten if I had glanced to the right or not, but I was well aware of the row of vehicles coming my way from the right, the first being a Comfort taxi. He noticed the taxi, and insist that I did not look right and it was dangerous. I said sorry. I forgot if I did glance to the right once more before I made the turn. But I was quite sure that the row of vehicles are still quite far. It proved right, I made the turn safely and did not obstruct any traffic. But whatever, since he said I was wrong, I said sorry.

But he continued nagging on why I didn't look right. I got irritated. I told him I did look right. He scolded me that I should look right before I make the turn. He only saw me looking to the left (he was looking to the left too, I wonder how did he know that I did not look right when he was looking left.). Then that was it, the point of no return. He screamed and shouted and threatened to blow his lungs out. He insisted I would not admit to my mistake and has a bad attitude. He roared at me while I was driving. I apologized again. But as per normal, when did he ever stop nagging after I apologize (although he said he would). The more he nag, the more he got angrier. With or without me apologizing, he scolded and condemned me to bits.

He would not stop even after we got out of the car. He warned me that he could not stand me anymore. He is sick of me. He gave me a warning that he will kick me out of HIS house (wonder who paid the other half of the house.....me!!!!) if I ever show him an attitude again. He said he hates me. He told me to pack my back and go back to my parents' house to stay. He told me he will throw my bag out, my suitcase out like the last time he did). And he didn't care if there were passer-bys beside us (hmm....he had scolded me for obstructing traffic and complained about him when there were people around. yah, this shows how democratic he can be). Every few steps we took, he turned around and scold me. He is so naggy! He just can't stop complaining and scolding. I think he has a huge problem controlling his own actions. (Duh!!! Idiots can't do that, you mean you cant' too? So you are none better than idiots!)

I had wrote to a councilling association to ask if there are any courses to help. There was no answer. Who can help me? Who can help me with this MONSTER THAT I HAD MARRIED!!!!!!!!

Between us, no converseation's needed . . .

'Between us, no conversation's needed . . .'
Sounds loving? Not one bit.

A conversation needs 2 parties to carry out. But since my view, comments and reasons are not valued, not appreciated and not wanted, I am expected to mute myself. And when only he can speak, and he doesn't wish to have a response from me, then there's no conversation needed. It's just a one-way traffic.

We were at KFC. After eating, we left our seat. He told me to turn left. I thought he meant exit and turn left. I stepped a step for the door. Then he snapped at me. 'I said turn left. What are you doing?' I stopped, then immediately understood what he meant. He meant to exit from the entrance on our far left. So I turned left to head for the other exit, and said 'Oh, OK! I thought you meant to exit and turn left.'

Tell me if I'm abnormal to say what I had just said. What's wrong with what I had said? What's wrong with saying it?

To him, it's wrong. He scolded me inside out. He accused me of rebutting. Accused me of trying to worm my way out of my mistake. Accused me of not saying sorry to admit my mistake. He scolded me in front of others sitting around.

I didn't do anything but apologized. I am so sick and tired of telling him not to get work up over this kinda things. I'm tired of getting accused of rebutting and having bad attitude over general conversations.

Tell me what's wrong with me!!!!!!!

Will I ever get my birthday present?

Seemed like my birthday present this year is indeed the hardest. He made a big fuss out of a small issue.

He bought a birthday cake for his mum. He called me and told me in a very soft and quick tone. He did not repeat. And because I did not catch what he was telling me, I misunderstood and thought he had wanted me to ask his sister if we wanted to buy a birthday cake for his mum. So we went to petrol kiosk to buy an ice cream cake, a small one, for his mum.

After everybody went upstairs, I waited for him to park the car. I then told him we bought a small ice cream cake for his mum cos we couldn't find anything suitable. He was shocked and said that he had told me to inform his sister that he had already bought a birthday cake.

I then realised I had misheard him on the phone. I apologized. He nagged. And nagged. And nagged. He kept blaming me, saying that I just couldn't do such a simple task of passing the message. I still apologized. He still nagged. I didn't rebut and just said sorry. He still continue nagging, he even said that he did not think that he was biased against me. And that it was really me that was at fault.

I couldn't take it anymore. I told him that I felt he was bias because it could have been avoided if he had spoken louder and had repeated over the phone. He was talking so softly and quickly over the phone that I was not able to understand him. Anyway, there were 2 possibilities why this could happened. He wasn't clear and caused me to fault. Or I had faulted without him being a cause. But he had insisted the fault was all mine. If this wasn't biasness against me, what is?

My birthday present . . . is never to be . . .

I had asked for a 'husband who do not scold me' for a birthday present. He said why choose the most difficult present. How sad . . . Not scolding me, it is the most difficult thing to do in his world.

But my request did eat into his heart! He thought hard about it and promised to work on it. For the whole of my birthday, nothing went wrong. No raised voices, no arguements, no nit picking! Partly was because we slept half of my birthday away, which of course meant no conversation and thus no friction and no arguement. But he did shoot a few pricky sentences at me, which he apologized after I gave an irritated look.

But our peace didn't last long. Yesterday, he kicked up a fuss out of nothing again. He blamed me for the things that happened which was no fault of mine. And he would not stop nagging. When I grew irritated with his naggings, he tried to claim credit, talking with confidence that he promised not to raise his voice to scold me, and he was determined not to do it. But he continued with his orders for me to behave in a particular way, say things, react, behave in a particular way that he demanded. He wanted me to shut up, and said it without raising his voice. He ordered me to come in, ordered me to stand there, ordered me to answer him, all without raising his voice (and he was still claiming credit for not scolding me). When he gave me an 'opportunity' (I reckoned the word needed to be '' quoted), he interruptted me and insisted that when he speaks, I had to stop even if I was talking, if I continued talking, it would then amount to interrupting him. He did all these without raising his voice.

I suggest any one who can, please give him a dictionary. Being unreasonable, and forcing someone to do and act like he wants, nagging and nit picking, enforcing rules, keep pointing out errors (which are debatable) and refusing to let me speak, show me a ready-to-fight face, using threatening words, all these do not amount to scolding, just because he did not raise his voice. What crap!!!! And all these accusations are out of nothing other than how I phrased my answer to his question. He asked me why I didn't call my parents earlier. I answered 'cos I was reading the papers just now, and after that we were making our way to the house, and....' That's it! He fused up and nagged at why can't I just say 'I felt that calling was not the top priority just now.'

Just because I did not answer his question similar to what his standard answer was in his mind, we went into an arguement. Which then was the solid proof that my birthday present was never to be!!!!

Dream on....