Ultimate tyrant . . .

His ex-biz partner was absolutely right. THIS BASTARD CANNOT TAKE CRITICISM!!!! He just cannot accept other people telling him that he is wrong. But he can anytime anywhere tell people off whenever he thinks that others are wrong.

When I did something wrong (no matter how minor or trivial), he would scold me for not using my brains, not learning, not improving, always taking the long path, etc . . . And if I wasn't feeling well, he would top it up with 'don't care if you are sick or tired, a wrong is a wrong, and you have to admit it and change' theory.

So what happened just now?

He forgot to bring his keys out from the car again, for the umpteenth time. It is like about 10 times since we collect the car. So I said that he frequently forgets his keys in the car, and he never learn. Then guess what? It's an obvious answer. No prize for getting it right. He started scolding me for not showing a good attitude. He gave obvious hints for me to apologize. TO MAKE HIM HAPPY, I DID, when it was obviously his own wrongdoing. But he would not stop. He carried own blaming me and scolding me for pointing out his mistake. He said 'what's the big deal for forgetting the keys, will it kill?' Of course, it won't. I didn't make mistakes that will kill anyone too, why did he always have to scold me and call me stupid when I made the same 'mistake' twice?

He apologized when the lift reached our level. He stepped out and said sorry to me for blowing up and he said he would try to control his temper.

When we reached home, I unlocked the door. I went in, he followed. He went straight in and complained why I didn't lock the metal door, cos he didn't have the keys. Come on, he would be going down soon. If I lock the metal door, I'll get further scoldings for doing unnecessary things. So I said that he would be going down soon, why do I need to lock the door. I just closed the wooden door. He went mad again. He said when he asked me to do something, why can't I just do it. Why must I give comments. So it was my fault again, when he made an error in his statement. He again blew up at me.

He apologized again when he came out from the washroom. He came into the room and said sorry to me for blowing up and he said he would try to control his temper.

He sat down at his table. He realised the window was not opened to the fullest (actually it was opened up fully just that the curtain wasn't fully withdrawn, maybe 90%, cos I was so mad I wanted blog this down I can't be bothered if the curtain was 90% withdrawn or 100% withdrawn), he complained again. Saying how many times did he tell me to open the window to the fullest when night comes and nagged at me even after I apologized. I was frustrated, he said sorry twice, but he blew up within minutes after apologizing. I frowned but went to withdraw the curtains anyway. Then he became even angrier. He scolded me for showing an attitude whenever he says something about me.

After a few minutes, he again apologized to me. I just said 'OK' with an expressionless face. Better not have any expressions, and don't make any statements that will cause this monster to flare up again. He kept saying sorry, and I kept saying 'OK'. He asked me why I didn't sound sincere with my OK.

Ha, what do you want me to say!!!!

I told him before this 'sorry', he had already apologized twice, but what happened immediately after. He said this time he is sincere. I asked him if the first two times he had not apologized sincerely. He said no, they were also sincere. Then I told him it's no point apologizing sincerely to me then.

Bastard Living . . . !

It all started with him nagging away while I was driving again. What's new!!!

If I was not experienced enough, give me time to pick it up. Scolding and nagging is not the damn way to teach. Anyway, I wasn't getting into any accident, just that I didn't brake fast enough for him, brake gently enough for him, accelerate mild enough for him, etc... (everything is based on his impression). With the half-baked instructions that he gave, he expected me to react perfectly to his demands. I was irritated enough to jam brake when he shouted at me to stop. It caused some tea to spill onto the car seat and mat. Honestly, I was already drowning in all his scoldings, I had long forgotten we were actually out to buy a hearty supper. Anyway, I was not regretful at all! HE PISSED ME OFF!!!!!

He then open the car door and threw out the 2 packets of tea and the box of hor fun. He ordered me out of the car, he then took the wheel. I sat at the seats behind, couldn't be bothered, and so angry that I just wasn't thinking about anything.

He drove, and in my impression, he too didn't accelerate as mild, he too didn't brake gently enough too. But of course, no matter whether it's he or me at the driver's seat, he will always be right. He drove to the petrol kiosk and got some water to clean the seats and the mat. He then ordered me out of the car, and lectured me. He asked what was my problem, but didn't want an answer except 'sorry'. What's the point of asking. He gave me 1 min to come to my senses. So during the 1 min, I said 'fuck' half a dozen times and hit the lamp post a few times. When back, he told me in my face that HE WANTED A DIVORCE!!!!!

He ordered me into the car, and sped off, with me reminding him that he just did what he told me not to do. He then repeated again that HE WANTED A DIVORCE. Great, so at the traffic light, I just got out of the car and he sped off again. I called him a minute later to remind him that since he wanted a divorce, assets should be splitted up, and I own half of the car so he better drive back immediately. He did a U-turn and came back to pick me up.

And as per normal, he wants to win at every little thing, even for an apology that he gave. He said 'I know that I should not spurt the word 'divorce' so easily, BUT I've already had enough.' This is the exact apology that he ordered me not to give. A 'sorry' is a 'sorry', no 'ifs' or 'buts'. And of course, the rule applies to me only, he can do it whenver and whichever way he wants to.

After that, he just kept driving round and round, lecturing me about my attitude, that I did not admit to mistake (holy cow, I specifically made an effort to apologize whenever you complain, it was the naggings that irritated me), that he is tired of me, that he is at his last straw. I told him that I had always been listening to whatever he wants to say, did he ever listen to me.

Then he admitted. HE SAID HE DID NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE HE LOOKS DOWN ON ME, AND THINK THAT WHATEVER I SAY IS WORTHLESS!!!! HE FINDS NO REASON TO LOVE ME!!!

So much for my love showered, so much for my help when he was in financial difficulties, so much for my company when he was at his life's worst. They are all worth nothing. Now that he can earn 5 digit figure a month, he looks down on my 4 digit income, he looks down on my job as a coporate executive. Doesn't he remember how we got through the rough patch with MY MISERABLE PAY!!!! When he didn't have money, when he was nearly bankrupt, when he had no income and savings at all, he borrowed money from me and eat off me. Now that he can survive on his own, he looks down on me and my income.

WHAT A BASTARD!!!!! He deserves no love from me too. I can't find any reason to love him further. I can't find any reason to be with him when I already know that he finds nothing in me that he fancies. The talks about enjoying being with me around because he can be totally relaxed, he has me to watch soccer with while other wives don't, he has me who shares the interest in comics while other wives don't, he has me who understand Chinese history and understands his jokes, he has me who allow him to meet up with his friends late in the night for drinks while other wives don't, he has me who don't mind going on foot while other wives get tired easily, all these just prick into me. Maybe he only has money in his eyes now, all the things that he was happy with were no longer of any value anymore.

He wants me to shower him with wifely love, womanly tender, but don't lack any of the manly hobbies, independent traits. All this summed up, it seems that he needs someone who is the woman of the men, and the man of the women, and at the same time take care of him but does not need him to take care of.

SELFISH BASTARD!!!!