After 3 weeks of peace . . .
A leopard would not change it's spots, will it?
After 3 weeks of peace, his temper got the better of him again. What's so fatal about being afraid to be lost if I travel by that route, thus I travel by this route instead? Guess! The issue is not about taking which route. Know what? I got scolded because I said 'I'm afraid of....'!
DUH!!!!!!!
He had said this so many times in his life. He doesn't seem to be that 'brave' either. There is more and more rules to follow when I speak to him. I cannot say that I'm afraid of this or that. He will say that I am a coward who don't dare to try things, and thus will never achieve much in life! WOW! How philosophical! Then what was I hearing when he said he was afraid to wear his new shoes to run 10km cos they were soft. He was afraid to lose his way if he travelled that direction cos he wasn't sure and he was in a rush so he travelled this long winding way instead. He has many things that he was afraid of. Oh but I forgot, simply because he is THE KING, so that makes all his reservations legitimate.
He hung up the phone, 3 times, on me! And on meeting him, he scolded and nagged non-stop. I just said sorry. But so what? He doesn't give a damn, he doesn't even want to give a damn. He nagged and nagged and got angrier and angrier. I tried to calm him down. But he refused to be helped. I got fed up, still trying my best, I kept my tone down and mentioned about the last time he chose a long winding way because he said he was not sure of the other route and he was in a rush, he was AFRAID that he would lose his way. Read again! He was AFRAID that he would lose his way. He got angry because I had said 'I was afraid....'. Didnt' he?
He was caught off guard. So what did he do when he couldn't reason? Be a spoilt brat and start to order others to listen to him simply cos he is the KING, of course. So I am the one who showed an attitude, and angered him more. And he had the cheek to tell me that he wasn't that angry before I mentioned about his 'fault'. Yeah, he wasn't angry, he was just jokingly teasing me. Then he should look at himself in the mirror when he was 'jokingly teasing' me and not very angry then. So does he mean that when he was not very angry, he hangs up on people and scold and nag non-stop, in the full view of the public? WOW, IMPRESSIVE!
And so, with the reason that I had angered him even more, he even poked me in the head very hard a few times, to tell me to use my brain when talking to him. I was fuming, he didn't care if the public is around, then why should I care. So I poked him back, real hard!!!!
Finally, he was willing to continue on his way to visit his granny in the ward. I reached her bed, greeted her and stood around. We don't speak the same dialect and I had never talked to her more than just greeting her and bidding goodbye. But he, was still throwing his temper in front of his granny. He threw the newspaper on the table while talking to her. And he ordered me to behave and don't stand around doing nothing (right, in the past, I can stand around and do nothing. Tonight, I am supposed to? Speak in English or Mandarin to his granny? Tidy the bed when she was lying on it? Or did he expect me to act like I am falling head over heels in love with him again and hug him in front of granny?). He is such a coward. He wanted to scold, but didn't want his granny to know that he was scolding his wife, wow! He ordered and nagged at me softly, in English. Tortoise!
Half way talking to his granny, he finally thought of a way how to cover his own backside. He softly told me why that time when he was AFRAID to choose another route, it was legitimate. Cos it only mattered a short distance and time. But for me to choose this route instead of that, it mattered a longer distance and time. NOTE, suddenly it wasn't about the word 'AFRAID' anymore, it was about the factor involved while making decision to take which route. What a man! Is this called 'trying to find an excuse to wiggle out of the situation'? I thought he detested it and had always scolded me for doing it. Hmmm....!
After the visit, he sat me down outside the ward for a talk. I should say it's a monologue. Cos he obviously didn't want a dialogue, nor a conversation. He just wanted to have a chance to nag and scold and command and blame. Alright, let him have his way. He talked about him trying for 3 weeks to kerb his anger, he talked about me not making an effort just now to contain things, he talked about me talking back and showing a bad attitude. Then he went on about ordering me to finish the jigsaw puzzle (if not, he would throw it out of the window), went on about ordering me to find time to pack up the house. I really wanted to tell him what is there to pack? The mess is his, his magazines, his newspaper, his shoes, they are thrown all around. I pack, he messes. But yet, he always complained that the house is untidy, and gets irritated over it. Bastard!
Finally, Lady Luck smiled at me. We at least started progressing, not emotionally, just physically. We took the lift down to the basement for the car. He wanted to top up the cashcard. I wanted to take the time to go to the washroom. He didn't let me. He said he wanted to talk. *Talk somemore? He really likes to talk!* He started asking me questions again, like what fault did I do wrong, what should I do, etc.... I really felt like he was just testing me, and if my answers were not satisfactory, or not his ideal answer, he would start blabbering nonsense again. And.... will still blamed it on me for not admitting my mistake, don't know my mistake, won't change, never will change . . . . . .!!!!!!! Phew, he asked me 3 questions, and I picked the right answers this time (it doesn't matter what are YOUR answers, just try your luck to guess HIS IDEAL answers). He finally smiled and gave me a thumbs up. So off I went to the washroom, thinking that it was finally over.
I went for only about a couple of minutes. When I came out and walked towards him, suddenly, the mood changed again, he began remanding me for what i had said earlier on again. He said that when he told me about the 3 weeks' time he tried not to get angry, he was not boasting or claiming credit, he was sincerely trying to tell me that he tried. But he insisted that when I talked about my own attempts, I was claiming credit instead and was showing bad attitude. Then he stormed off to the washroom.
Firstly, it was just a shot moment ago that he was all smiles. In a blink of an eye, his temper was flying again. Did he ever put in effort to keep peace? I wonder!
Secondly, what right does he have to point a finger at me and dictate that I was trying to claim credit while he was trying to show that he had tried when we made the same statements? Do you know how he dictate as such? 'I was just trying to tell you how much effort I put in when I said that sentence. But not you. You are just claiming credit. I say that you are just claiming credit. And I take it that you are claiming credit. If you are not, it's your problem that you don't know how to communicate and your actions make me believe that you are claiming credit.' So with this, I was labeled as claiming credit instead of trying to show that I had put in effort. He did not need to do anything to make me think that he is not claiming credit, I just have to take his word for it. But I need to have actions to prove that I am not claiming credit, if not he would just decide what I meant (and of course, he would always put the bad side on me, cos he wouldn't risk his hair to doubt that I had attempted something good).
Full bloom tyrant!!!!!
After 3 weeks of peace, his temper got the better of him again. What's so fatal about being afraid to be lost if I travel by that route, thus I travel by this route instead? Guess! The issue is not about taking which route. Know what? I got scolded because I said 'I'm afraid of....'!
DUH!!!!!!!
He had said this so many times in his life. He doesn't seem to be that 'brave' either. There is more and more rules to follow when I speak to him. I cannot say that I'm afraid of this or that. He will say that I am a coward who don't dare to try things, and thus will never achieve much in life! WOW! How philosophical! Then what was I hearing when he said he was afraid to wear his new shoes to run 10km cos they were soft. He was afraid to lose his way if he travelled that direction cos he wasn't sure and he was in a rush so he travelled this long winding way instead. He has many things that he was afraid of. Oh but I forgot, simply because he is THE KING, so that makes all his reservations legitimate.
He hung up the phone, 3 times, on me! And on meeting him, he scolded and nagged non-stop. I just said sorry. But so what? He doesn't give a damn, he doesn't even want to give a damn. He nagged and nagged and got angrier and angrier. I tried to calm him down. But he refused to be helped. I got fed up, still trying my best, I kept my tone down and mentioned about the last time he chose a long winding way because he said he was not sure of the other route and he was in a rush, he was AFRAID that he would lose his way. Read again! He was AFRAID that he would lose his way. He got angry because I had said 'I was afraid....'. Didnt' he?
He was caught off guard. So what did he do when he couldn't reason? Be a spoilt brat and start to order others to listen to him simply cos he is the KING, of course. So I am the one who showed an attitude, and angered him more. And he had the cheek to tell me that he wasn't that angry before I mentioned about his 'fault'. Yeah, he wasn't angry, he was just jokingly teasing me. Then he should look at himself in the mirror when he was 'jokingly teasing' me and not very angry then. So does he mean that when he was not very angry, he hangs up on people and scold and nag non-stop, in the full view of the public? WOW, IMPRESSIVE!
And so, with the reason that I had angered him even more, he even poked me in the head very hard a few times, to tell me to use my brain when talking to him. I was fuming, he didn't care if the public is around, then why should I care. So I poked him back, real hard!!!!
Finally, he was willing to continue on his way to visit his granny in the ward. I reached her bed, greeted her and stood around. We don't speak the same dialect and I had never talked to her more than just greeting her and bidding goodbye. But he, was still throwing his temper in front of his granny. He threw the newspaper on the table while talking to her. And he ordered me to behave and don't stand around doing nothing (right, in the past, I can stand around and do nothing. Tonight, I am supposed to? Speak in English or Mandarin to his granny? Tidy the bed when she was lying on it? Or did he expect me to act like I am falling head over heels in love with him again and hug him in front of granny?). He is such a coward. He wanted to scold, but didn't want his granny to know that he was scolding his wife, wow! He ordered and nagged at me softly, in English. Tortoise!
Half way talking to his granny, he finally thought of a way how to cover his own backside. He softly told me why that time when he was AFRAID to choose another route, it was legitimate. Cos it only mattered a short distance and time. But for me to choose this route instead of that, it mattered a longer distance and time. NOTE, suddenly it wasn't about the word 'AFRAID' anymore, it was about the factor involved while making decision to take which route. What a man! Is this called 'trying to find an excuse to wiggle out of the situation'? I thought he detested it and had always scolded me for doing it. Hmmm....!
After the visit, he sat me down outside the ward for a talk. I should say it's a monologue. Cos he obviously didn't want a dialogue, nor a conversation. He just wanted to have a chance to nag and scold and command and blame. Alright, let him have his way. He talked about him trying for 3 weeks to kerb his anger, he talked about me not making an effort just now to contain things, he talked about me talking back and showing a bad attitude. Then he went on about ordering me to finish the jigsaw puzzle (if not, he would throw it out of the window), went on about ordering me to find time to pack up the house. I really wanted to tell him what is there to pack? The mess is his, his magazines, his newspaper, his shoes, they are thrown all around. I pack, he messes. But yet, he always complained that the house is untidy, and gets irritated over it. Bastard!
Finally, Lady Luck smiled at me. We at least started progressing, not emotionally, just physically. We took the lift down to the basement for the car. He wanted to top up the cashcard. I wanted to take the time to go to the washroom. He didn't let me. He said he wanted to talk. *Talk somemore? He really likes to talk!* He started asking me questions again, like what fault did I do wrong, what should I do, etc.... I really felt like he was just testing me, and if my answers were not satisfactory, or not his ideal answer, he would start blabbering nonsense again. And.... will still blamed it on me for not admitting my mistake, don't know my mistake, won't change, never will change . . . . . .!!!!!!! Phew, he asked me 3 questions, and I picked the right answers this time (it doesn't matter what are YOUR answers, just try your luck to guess HIS IDEAL answers). He finally smiled and gave me a thumbs up. So off I went to the washroom, thinking that it was finally over.
I went for only about a couple of minutes. When I came out and walked towards him, suddenly, the mood changed again, he began remanding me for what i had said earlier on again. He said that when he told me about the 3 weeks' time he tried not to get angry, he was not boasting or claiming credit, he was sincerely trying to tell me that he tried. But he insisted that when I talked about my own attempts, I was claiming credit instead and was showing bad attitude. Then he stormed off to the washroom.
Firstly, it was just a shot moment ago that he was all smiles. In a blink of an eye, his temper was flying again. Did he ever put in effort to keep peace? I wonder!
Secondly, what right does he have to point a finger at me and dictate that I was trying to claim credit while he was trying to show that he had tried when we made the same statements? Do you know how he dictate as such? 'I was just trying to tell you how much effort I put in when I said that sentence. But not you. You are just claiming credit. I say that you are just claiming credit. And I take it that you are claiming credit. If you are not, it's your problem that you don't know how to communicate and your actions make me believe that you are claiming credit.' So with this, I was labeled as claiming credit instead of trying to show that I had put in effort. He did not need to do anything to make me think that he is not claiming credit, I just have to take his word for it. But I need to have actions to prove that I am not claiming credit, if not he would just decide what I meant (and of course, he would always put the bad side on me, cos he wouldn't risk his hair to doubt that I had attempted something good).
Full bloom tyrant!!!!!
posted by Caller From The Falls at 9:53 AM
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