The hurt as been done . . .
He apologized shortly after he stepped out of the house, via sms. Should I give him credit for this? It was really tough going through all his tauntings and shoutings and accusings. You would have asked me to just bear with it for a while, and things would be over soon. I tried, but how do you enstrange yourself from the pricky, false and intentional pokes that he hurl at you every other hour?
I'm human, and human enough to get affected by his ever changing mood. But he insist that I'm not acting like a human, and so am only entitled to be treated like a dog. The more he tells me to shut up when he says shut up, and stand there when he says stand there, smile when he says smile, look at him when he says look at him, the more I feel that he is crazy to call this obedience acting like a human. When it's obviously stupid accusations, don't you have the urge to point out his stupidity?
And after his repeated mistake, I just can't take the skip and offer him an insight to the real meaning of behaving like a dog. To which, he changed his view and says 'Oh then, since you can't behave like a smart woman, then I'll treat you like a dog.' And what did he mean by that? Smart woman means to talk and do the necessary when it's necessary.
He is probably asking for a BITCH then, a woman who behaves like a dog which he thinks is smart. To do whatever he says when he is angry, to not rebut when wrongly accused, to keep quiet when scolded, who still can afford a natural smile when belittled, who takes all these nonsense in like it's part of life and embrace it with tender loving care.
I feel like walking out. Have a few days off on my own. Refind myself, refind my soul!!! But what would I face if I have done that? I'll come back to a husband who had given the excuse to seek another woman's arms cos I was not around when he needs me.
Do you think I'm stupid? I think I am. When he is with me, he scolds me, calls me worthless and takes me for granted. And when he tells me he loves me, at the same time, he can date other girls behind my back, flirt with them and treat them like they are queens. Whenever he says he is so glad to be with me, I feel the flinch in me, curbing the urge to tell him to rethink and rethink before saying this to me. Whenever he tells me why he feels so comfortable with me and love it when we share so many values and hobbies in common, I feel myself eating back my tears, knowing full well that he probably was enjoying himself as much dating that G behind my back, saying how beautiful she is, guessing what she is wearing, maybe even to the extreme of touching her, holding her, feeling her panties....!!!!!!!
When he is in a good mood, every love story that he breathes to me brings me pain!
When he is in a bad mood, every swearings and scoldings brings me hurt!
What am I doing with him.....!??!?!?!?!?!
I'm human, and human enough to get affected by his ever changing mood. But he insist that I'm not acting like a human, and so am only entitled to be treated like a dog. The more he tells me to shut up when he says shut up, and stand there when he says stand there, smile when he says smile, look at him when he says look at him, the more I feel that he is crazy to call this obedience acting like a human. When it's obviously stupid accusations, don't you have the urge to point out his stupidity?
And after his repeated mistake, I just can't take the skip and offer him an insight to the real meaning of behaving like a dog. To which, he changed his view and says 'Oh then, since you can't behave like a smart woman, then I'll treat you like a dog.' And what did he mean by that? Smart woman means to talk and do the necessary when it's necessary.
He is probably asking for a BITCH then, a woman who behaves like a dog which he thinks is smart. To do whatever he says when he is angry, to not rebut when wrongly accused, to keep quiet when scolded, who still can afford a natural smile when belittled, who takes all these nonsense in like it's part of life and embrace it with tender loving care.
I feel like walking out. Have a few days off on my own. Refind myself, refind my soul!!! But what would I face if I have done that? I'll come back to a husband who had given the excuse to seek another woman's arms cos I was not around when he needs me.
Do you think I'm stupid? I think I am. When he is with me, he scolds me, calls me worthless and takes me for granted. And when he tells me he loves me, at the same time, he can date other girls behind my back, flirt with them and treat them like they are queens. Whenever he says he is so glad to be with me, I feel the flinch in me, curbing the urge to tell him to rethink and rethink before saying this to me. Whenever he tells me why he feels so comfortable with me and love it when we share so many values and hobbies in common, I feel myself eating back my tears, knowing full well that he probably was enjoying himself as much dating that G behind my back, saying how beautiful she is, guessing what she is wearing, maybe even to the extreme of touching her, holding her, feeling her panties....!!!!!!!
When he is in a good mood, every love story that he breathes to me brings me pain!
When he is in a bad mood, every swearings and scoldings brings me hurt!
What am I doing with him.....!??!?!?!?!?!
posted by Caller From The Falls at 9:41 PM
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